Entry 5
Let’s talk about when you experienced fear.
This is a very touchy subject don’t you think? I’m already trying to get out of this conversation… What I can say is I have experienced fear I didn’t know it was humanly possible. I decided to do a 66 days morning routine challenge of waking up at 5am and if you skipped a day you had to start from day 1, even if you were on your day 65!! Discipline. How I got to do the challenge? My friend helped me with this book “The 5AM Club” and I decided to take on the challenge.
This was not easy for me. I wondered what would I be doing this early? I’m definitely not a morning person. I had no commitments… I had excuses to not even try it… I was just out of a toxic relationship. My heart was broken, I felt broken. I felt alone… After wondering, and trying to get myself out of it, I finally decided why not? It will keep me busy, and at least I’ll have a reason to get out of bed. This was a strong motivator
First attempt I got to day 7. Second attempt I got to day 16. I thought why not involve my friend in this challenge? So I shared what I was doing, the attempts I’ve had so far, and the experience. Lucky me I got a brave one to join. Also, my friend had just bought another guitar, and offered me the old one to practice on. How amazing! My routine now had a structure. I was confident.
Third attempt, I’m not alone in this, it was comforting. This is where things really started to change. By day 23, I was doing it. I was so proud of myself! Day 28, the horror. I was stricken by raw fear of everything I was afraid of. It felt like I was shedding all the things I had hidden so perfectly within.
I was shaking, I was sweating. It was nauseous. I didn’t recognize myself for sometime. Goodness I was so scared that I almost quit! But if I quit, I had to start this all over again! I wasn’t going to let this milestone go to waste. So I went through the re-birth for 3 days. Yes 3 days of pure panic.
Day 31 it was mildly fading off, it was bearable. When it was over I was extremely exhausted, I couldn’t even think of the heartbreak. Something else replaced the sadness, I was extremely calm. I would cry out of joy, and I knew I’ll be okay. I found clarity. I found a part of me that I had forgot. I found love.
Day 50, I am unstoppable. Day 60 this is just so easy. Day 66 I finally graduated! “Welcome to the 5AM Club!” I was and still am super proud of myself ❤️
Also just to confirm. It worked, nowadays I wake up at 5 am with ease. I found myself a morning routine filled with love and Divinity.
Do you think you are brave enough to shed yourself? Try it. It’s worth it. And don’t forget to share it with me. All the best
❤️
Musings 