A Girl’s Monologue

Entry 8

Have you tried manifestation? Tell me about it.

Yes, I have. I have read and watched videos about manifestation. What I have learnt is when you make your goal specific it comes to you easily. This means no distractions, no doubts, no fears, no anxiety just certainty that it’s already yours.

What I understood later was that it really triggers your fears, anxiety, and doubts. There were days I would feel stuck and wondered whether I am doing it right only to learn that I was working against myself. I was inviting doubt in and it was driving me insane!

What did I do about this? I sat still into the doubts. Listened and evaluated the voices I was hearing. There was one that was really loud and mean. I swear I wondered where all the animosity came from. I started observing it for a while, and it slowly grew faint and eventually the screams stopped. I did a quick research and learnt that this was the ‘ego’ being scared of the unknown.

Then I started to hear a really warm and calm voice like a whisper. I focused on it, it was such a relief. It said the sweetest things to me. It assured me that I am okay, I am doing it right, and that all is good. This was refreshing. That’s when my certainty magnified and guess what, everything happened exactly as I wanted it but even better. It was like an extra gift for believing. It was such a joy for me.

There are days I’m in the zone and there are days I’m completely off. I’m still learning how to be balanced and calm from within despite what’s happening around me. It’s an exciting journey for me.

Do you trust your instincts?

❤️

A Girl’s Monologue

Entry 7

Happy new week! What are your plans for this week?

Hey you. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I’m planning to visit my mom this week, and finish my designs. I also want to learn more design styles. I feel I can do better.

I’ll try and catch up on my social life. I haven’t been outside for a while. I don’t know about you, but I really enjoy being indoors. I kind of feel I have the energy to socialize now.

I also plan on eating healthy foods this week. I have been slacking on this.

So what are your plans for this week?

❤️

A Girl’s Monologue

Entry 6

What’s on your mind?

I’m just wondering what life is all about. I’ve been trying to stay awake. It’s raining at the moment, and I just want to go to bed. Goodbye for now
❤️

A Girl’s Monologue

Entry 5

Let’s talk about when you experienced fear.

This is a very touchy subject don’t you think? I’m already trying to get out of this conversation… What I can say is I have experienced fear I didn’t know it was humanly possible. I decided to do a 66 days morning routine challenge of waking up at 5am and if you skipped a day you had to start from day 1, even if you were on your day 65!! Discipline. How I got to do the challenge? My friend helped me with this book “The 5AM Club” and I decided to take on the challenge.

This was not easy for me. I wondered what would I be doing this early? I’m definitely not a morning person. I had no commitments… I had excuses to not even try it… I was just out of a toxic relationship. My heart was broken, I felt broken. I felt alone… After wondering, and trying to get myself out of it, I finally decided why not? It will keep me busy, and at least I’ll have a reason to get out of bed. This was a strong motivator

First attempt I got to day 7. Second attempt I got to day 16. I thought why not involve my friend in this challenge? So I shared what I was doing, the attempts I’ve had so far, and the experience. Lucky me I got a brave one to join. Also, my friend had just bought another guitar, and offered me the old one to practice on. How amazing! My routine now had a structure. I was confident.

Third attempt, I’m not alone in this, it was comforting. This is where things really started to change. By day 23, I was doing it. I was so proud of myself! Day 28, the horror. I was stricken by raw fear of everything I was afraid of. It felt like I was shedding all the things I had hidden so perfectly within.

I was shaking, I was sweating. It was nauseous. I didn’t recognize myself for sometime. Goodness I was so scared that I almost quit! But if I quit, I had to start this all over again! I wasn’t going to let this milestone go to waste. So I went through the re-birth for 3 days. Yes 3 days of pure panic.

Day 31 it was mildly fading off, it was bearable. When it was over I was extremely exhausted, I couldn’t even think of the heartbreak. Something else replaced the sadness, I was extremely calm. I would cry out of joy, and I knew I’ll be okay. I found clarity. I found a part of me that I had forgot. I found love.

Day 50, I am unstoppable. Day 60 this is just so easy. Day 66 I finally graduated! “Welcome to the 5AM Club!” I was and still am super proud of myself ❤️

Also just to confirm. It worked, nowadays I wake up at 5 am with ease. I found myself a morning routine filled with love and Divinity.

Do you think you are brave enough to shed yourself? Try it. It’s worth it. And don’t forget to share it with me. All the best

❤️

 

 

A Girl’s Monologue

Entry 4

Hey darling. What’s the update?

 

Hello. Finally the electricity is restored. Yay! I’m happy about this. They fixed it and it’s been quite stable. I don’t think it will misbehave again. I have been doing a bit of research, for now it’s inconclusive. I hope to get a break through this week. Remember I mentioned I am reading the “The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo “ well, I like Lisbeth. I was appalled by the way she was subjected to sexual violence by her guardian who was meant to make sure she was safe. This had my stomach turn. Knowing that there are women and men who are subjected to such extreme sexual violence, and blame themselves… It’s impermissible! We need more advocates who actually take action to defend our women and men who fall into such cruel hands of other human beings.

❤️

A Girl’s Monologue

Entry 1:

Hey you, I see you have been working hard lately. So how’s the going? Is it what you thought it would be? Are you happy?

Heey. Yes, I have been working hard to be on a high vibration. You know the mind sometimes can play tricks on me. It can say some weird stuff that cracks me up, and at times leave me partially frozen. It’s a thin line with this one. If you leave it unchecked, it can be a bit tricky to know if it’s with you or against you. Hmm so that’s how it’s going
Is it what I thought it would be? Let me put it like this. Waking up to do something I have been dreaming of is amazing. Everything is falling into place when I least expect it. I am enjoying the drive and the game at the moment.
Am I happy? Well, at times I feel a bit lonely, and wish I had someone to talk with. You know, connect with in a meaningful way. I know you understand what I mean. Other than that I feel happy.
❤️